I sat straight up in bed,
gasping for air and fear shaking my body.
Discovering it was just a nightmare brought little change to my physical
reaction. Eventually my breathing
regulated, but the fear lingered. Forty years later, I vividly recall that
dream and the terror of it.
I have a fear of cats, any
cats. I really think they sense my fear and love to slither through my legs and
walk across the back of the chair I’m occupying. Cats look directly at me and give what sounds
like a soft “purr” to others, but is actually a lion’s growl. No matter how
beautiful, soft, cuddly a cat might be I don’t see it.
At the time of my nightmare,
Wayne and I were living in a country where ten-foot walls surrounded the houses
and courtyards. Cats prowled along the
top of those walls. I’d seen them often. One night they invaded my sleep. I
walked along a city street while a cat stalked on the wall a few feet above
me. It stopped, lowering its body in
readiness. I was paralyzed with fear. The
cat lunged toward me, landed on my back and imbedded its claws in my shoulders.
Whew! Even as I write this
my heart races. I’ve never fully
obliterated that nightmare. The memory of it and those cats that I crossed the
street to avoid everyday, jumped into my head when I read Psalm 17:12
They
are like a lion hungry for prey, like a great lion crouching in cover.
You might think, “You can’t
equate lions with alley cats!” You don’t
have my fear.
Earlier in Psalm 17 King
David, probably “fugitive David” at the time, told us who the “they” were in
his cry to the LORD:
Keep
me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings from the
wicked who assail me, from my mortal
enemies who surround me. (verses 8-9)
I’ll admit that as devious
as I think cats are, they are not my mortal enemies. Most of my dangerous
enemies are confined to my mind and attack my heart, mind and soul.
Psalm 17 is set during the
account of David recorded in 1 Samuel 22-23.
David is
- adjusting to the life of a desperado
- leading 400 losers, vagrants and misfits down on their luck
- hiding his parents in a foreign country to insure their safety
- living in desert and caves
- hearing of the vicious slaughter of innocent civilians who tried to help him
- urging faint-hearted men into battle with their archenemy the Philistines
- dodging entrapment
- permanently separated from a trusted friend
- retreating from the hot pursuit of his enemy King Saul
- depending on God’s interventions to spare his life
Though I’m not currently a
desperado, I can correlate the issues David faced to some of my own present-day
“enemies.”
My enemies are not really cats
or lions or even people. My enemies are far more ferociously empowered by the Enemy
of my soul. They are the thoughts that show
up in caves of sickness, persecution, injustice and hardships. They are the accusations that taunt me in deserts,
threatening boredom, insignificance and even death. I’m
certainly not talking alley cats here, but voracious lions crouching, waiting
for their prey.
These enemies hiss at me with
condemnation, worry, bitterness, resentment, despondency, regret,
self-loathing, comparison, competition, self-pity, depression, insecurity, low
self-esteem, arrogance, pride, lust, idolatry and discouragement. Sometimes these
temptations throw me to the ground hopeless, despairing and gasping. All these enemies watch for my most
vulnerable moment and pounce on me.
BUT THERE IS HOPE
Later when King David had
been delivered by God from all his enemies, who were many and varied, he wrote
Psalm 18[1]. It
is a marvelous picture of the deliverance and victory God has for each of us
from our own enemies. I’m including some of the graphic words here along with a
bit of my personal commentary. (For dramatic effect, I suggest you read faster as
you progress through the psalm.)
He is
a safe and often refreshing place to go even in the middle of the day when my
life is overrun with stress, worry, fatigue.
My
enemies don’t always look mean and foreboding.
Sometimes they appear attractive, common and comforting. But they are
enemies nonetheless.
·
The waves of death swirled about me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed
me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the
snares of death confronted me.
I’m
gasping for air, what about you?
·
In my
distress I called to the LORD; I called out to my
God. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came to his ears.
Regardless
how faint my cry might be, he still hears it.
·
The earth trembled and quaked, the foundations
of the heavens shook; they trembled because he was angry. Smoke rose from his nostrils; consuming fire came from his mouth, burning coals blazed out of
it.
Great
imagery! I like to envision the Enemy of
my soul crouching like a lion, trying to look confident while his mane is set
aflame by the breath of the Lover of my soul!
·
He parted
the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet. He mounted the cherubim and
flew; he soared on the wings of the wind.
Visualizing
his soaring makes my heart flip-flop.
·
He made
darkness his canopy around him-- the dark rain
clouds of the sky. Out of the brightness
of his presence bolts of lightning blazed forth. The LORD thundered from
heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded.
To
think this dramatic lightening storm is for my sake! It makes my enemies scurry, but there is no
shelter for them because…
I
relish the scene of my enemies in panic. Maybe it is like trying to herd cats!
·
The valleys of the sea were exposed and the
foundations of the earth laid bare at the rebuke of the LORD, at
the blast of breath from his nostrils.
·
He reached
down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me
out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for
me.
This
is the best rescue scene ever!
I
start breathing steadily again.
His
presence turns the ferocious nature of my enemies back onto them. They claw each other to death and I am
standing free from them all.
And
here is the outcome:
·
You, LORD, keep my light burning
·
You turn my darkness into light
·
I can advance against a troop
·
I can scale a wall
·
I can stand on the heights
·
My arms can bend a bow of bronze
·
A broad path keeps my ankles from turning
·
I crush my enemies
Scat
you cats!
Mom,
ReplyDeleteThanks for loving and living The Word. You inspire, support, and guide me. I'm so glad we're on the same side!
Alissa
Thanks, Alissa, I can always count on you. Let's face it,there is no other side to be on!
ReplyDeleteVery encouraging. Thanks, Cindy!
ReplyDeleteGary, That is exactly what I wanted it to be so your words encourage me.
DeleteThanks,
Cindy
I was glad to have a chance to read your latest blog entry. Loved the way you took us through scripture, personalizing it along the way. Though I don't understand your fear of cats, I feel somewhat the same about birds though I haven't yet dreamt about them. I'm glad I'm on the same side as you too! God bless.
ReplyDeleteGinny,
DeleteHow good to hear from you. Our fears are irrational, but they are sooo real. If you need a hand up to scale the wall, I'm there for you as I know you are for me. Pleasant dreams.
Cindy
p.s. I guess I should learn how to manage my own blogsite:)
Ginny,
ReplyDeleteHow good to hear from you. Our fears are irrational, but they are sooo real. If you need a hand up to scale the wall, I'm there for you as I know you are for me. Pleasant dreams.
Cindy